American Airlines Road Warrior Contest, 2009

American Airlines Road Warrior Contest, 2009

8 reasons I qualify to be an American Airlines Road Warrior [50 words max each]

1. I have “Seat Guru” bookmarked and it opens to American Airlines. I’m retired now so I fly coach. With one child in Switzerland, one in Michigan, one in Texas, a grand daughter in the Army, and relatives on both coasts, I am a very frequent flier.

2. I can ask for directions to the toilet in any country, any language even though I only speak American. I know where the one and only FREE and CLEAN women’s toilet is in Italy. I’ve located the “Flush” button in every passenger train compartment except one. Sorry about that. 

3. My seatmates on an overnight flight had an exhausted, screaming 3 mo old baby. I asked to hold the baby. I swaddled and snuggled him close, like we did in the old days. Baby and I both slept. Upon landing, the man behind me patted me on the head and said “Bless You, Lady.”

4. My daughter demonstrated how to use European luggage carts on escalators. Next trip I demonstrated for my husband. Except I had small bags on top of the strap and the brake system is opposite of American logic. We dumped 2 bags on a lady ahead of us. Bummer.

5. We bought our dogs two special biscuits in Switzerland.  Husband reports said biscuits on the US customs form.  His honesty was reward with a trip to Super Screening behind foreigners with truck loads of suitcases. After much waiting the agent confiscated the biscuits because he couldn’t read the label. Poor doggies.

6. Here are 2 hints for driving in the UK. First, the rear view mirrors fold in nicely when mail boxes are tapped along the country roads road. Second, there is no limit to the number of times you can go around a round-about before picking the wrong exit.

7. The Louvre is wonderful. We saw more of it than most tourists. We couldn’t find our exit concourse. We kept ending up in the Egyptian mummy exhibit. We thought it was an omen after the seventh circuit. I wrote notes to the kids in my Palm Pilot when Voila!...........

8.   Prague would be a good place to sell handheld GPS devices to Americans. We were so lost and finally asked directions of a couple on the street. They carefully directed us to a version of Tourist Purgatory. I hope they enjoy telling this story as much as I do.

I didn't win.