I don't know what "normal" is any more. With the end of chemo I planned to restore stamina and reduce this awful fatigue. I've had limited success. While I can drive myself to radiation and physical therapy and even walk across the hospital parking garage rather than paying to valet park, I still am tired by the time I get home. A big part of the fatigue is because I have to get to the hospital earlier than I would like. I am NOT a morning person. However I do like getting the hospital drill out of the way so I can do whatever the rest of the day.
A while back I speculated about what I should do to celebrate the end of chemo. One of the choices was to get a new Bernina 830 sewing machine. I think this option must have been predestined. At the end of chemo sessions, the 830 demonstration machine was put on sale at my local store plus the option of 0% financing for 36 months. So I bought it. What a machine!!!!!!!!!!! I had used one for an all day class at a Quilt Show in California a couple of years ago and couldn't believe the difference in feel and capabilities. The machine comes with 6 classes of instruction, each class is 3 hours long. I've started taking 830 classes and other technical sewing classes. Most of the time I can get the lesson to come through the chemo brain fog. I just need to practice, practice and practice.
Estate sales are flourishing this time of year so Joan and I are having some good, cheap fun. One of these weeks I'm going to be able to shop more than just one or two sales in any given day!!! You see, this activity is part of my therapy plan.......walk [from Jeep to sale site] then stay standing/walking through the entire house, stand in line to check out, walk to Jeep. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Now THAT is a therapy plan I can live by. And one can not have just one therapy plan ad nauseum. So for variety we will go to some warehouse sales where we will walk and stand. Hey, it IS a valid plan!!!
Last week Dylan and Carolyn were having some home improvement projects done at their house. It is so hard to take vacation from jobs to supervise the contract workers so Husband and I were able to alternate days going over to be with the dogs and workers. It is nice to be retired so we can help out and it is great that I was able take myself over there. Finally I can be useful again.
Today we went to see Mother at the Alzheimer's unit in Grace Presbyterian Village. Domino was right back in his element........his public was so happy to see him. Mother knew me as a daughter but I didn't have a name. Husband and Domino had names. She always appreciates having company whom ever they are, those with names and those who are nameless.
That's about it for now. I'm back to being busy and it feels GOOD.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Feeling good enough to have fun!!!!!!!!
Post chemo life is good........almost back to "normal" in many ways. It is a good thing that I figured out how to schedule too many things per day on my Blackberry. I have bigger ideas for my days than I have energy but who cares!!! Just a few weeks ago I dreaded having ANYTHING on my calendar. Now I'll schedule too many things just because I have not been "out and about" much for the last few months. I don't last very long at any of the activities but I sure enjoy being there!!
My new "hobby" seems to be radiation. I have completed 3 of 33 sessions. It isn't a very time consuming activity, just sucks up an hour of each week day for the 10 minute procedure plus travel time. There is a combination of lotions that has to be put on the entire front and back of the radiated area twice a day. This lotion is to cut down on the odds of getting radiation burns. I can't tell yet whether I will be a burn candidate. The other side effect of radiation is fatigue. I don't know if I'm experiencing radiation fatigue or not because major fatigue has been a constant since chemo began.
The radiation is messing up my lymphedema. Apparently the lymph system recognizes radiation as an assault and puts out more fluid which isn't draining so good. This means more swelling, not just in the arm but all over. Thank goodness I have 3 lymphedema massages each week so I'm not getting behind the fluid accumulation curve. I have a compression sleeve and half-glove to wear in the daytime. At night I have to wrap with ace bandages and prop the arm up on pillows to sleep. Not fun. I've ordered a compression sleeve for night use and that should come in this next week.
Dog Story: A friend who lives nearby has adopted a rescue standard poodle so we went over to meet Sylvia's Beau today. What a beautiful dog! We took Beau and Domino on a short walk together so they could have a competitive pee marking project. Then it was to the back yard and within minutes they were having a great time racing around the yard, barking and cutting each other off at the curves. That is exactly what Domino needs....a running buddy; and what Beau needs....a poodle to show him how to play and bark. So we will get them together regularly. What fun!!
I managed to hit one estate sale this week and lasted as long as I want to before getting too tired. Next week's goal is to hit two sales!!! Look out world....I'm coming back!!!!
My new "hobby" seems to be radiation. I have completed 3 of 33 sessions. It isn't a very time consuming activity, just sucks up an hour of each week day for the 10 minute procedure plus travel time. There is a combination of lotions that has to be put on the entire front and back of the radiated area twice a day. This lotion is to cut down on the odds of getting radiation burns. I can't tell yet whether I will be a burn candidate. The other side effect of radiation is fatigue. I don't know if I'm experiencing radiation fatigue or not because major fatigue has been a constant since chemo began.
The radiation is messing up my lymphedema. Apparently the lymph system recognizes radiation as an assault and puts out more fluid which isn't draining so good. This means more swelling, not just in the arm but all over. Thank goodness I have 3 lymphedema massages each week so I'm not getting behind the fluid accumulation curve. I have a compression sleeve and half-glove to wear in the daytime. At night I have to wrap with ace bandages and prop the arm up on pillows to sleep. Not fun. I've ordered a compression sleeve for night use and that should come in this next week.
Dog Story: A friend who lives nearby has adopted a rescue standard poodle so we went over to meet Sylvia's Beau today. What a beautiful dog! We took Beau and Domino on a short walk together so they could have a competitive pee marking project. Then it was to the back yard and within minutes they were having a great time racing around the yard, barking and cutting each other off at the curves. That is exactly what Domino needs....a running buddy; and what Beau needs....a poodle to show him how to play and bark. So we will get them together regularly. What fun!!
I managed to hit one estate sale this week and lasted as long as I want to before getting too tired. Next week's goal is to hit two sales!!! Look out world....I'm coming back!!!!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
First a tattoo and then radiation begins
I have a tattoo!! Let me tell you this is the last time you will hear me say that!!! OUCH!!!!! No doubt I paid more for my 4 little radiation markers than people pay for "artist" tattoos, but those little pricks HURT. The reason they tatttoo cancer patients is to mark the spots so if I ever have to go back for more radiation the next doctor knows where I got zapped the first time.
That was the beginning of my radiation adventure. I've had the first of 33 radiation sessions and survived. The radiation machine is set by computer to zap the same area each time. The technitions make sure I'm positioned in the same place each time based on marks they have drawn all over my side and chest plus the new tattoos. Then for 10 minutes I lay on the "slightly" padded slab while the radiation machine rotates around me. It doesn't hurt but it is hard to not to develop an itch that needs scratching and having both arms above my head causes a cramp or two. When the radiation is finished there are a couple of lotions to use on the radiated area to reduce the possibility of burning. That lotion is to be applied 2x/day. Controlling the burn and dealing with the fatigue are the only consistent side effects of radiation. Fatigue has been a constant companion since chemo started. Let's hope it doesn't get too bad.
Lymphedema therapy continues to be very helpful. I'm happy to be into a compression sleeve during the day. It is much more comfortable plus I can wear most of my clothes over it. When I had the bandages I was very limited on what I could get over the arm + bandages.
That's about it for now.
That was the beginning of my radiation adventure. I've had the first of 33 radiation sessions and survived. The radiation machine is set by computer to zap the same area each time. The technitions make sure I'm positioned in the same place each time based on marks they have drawn all over my side and chest plus the new tattoos. Then for 10 minutes I lay on the "slightly" padded slab while the radiation machine rotates around me. It doesn't hurt but it is hard to not to develop an itch that needs scratching and having both arms above my head causes a cramp or two. When the radiation is finished there are a couple of lotions to use on the radiated area to reduce the possibility of burning. That lotion is to be applied 2x/day. Controlling the burn and dealing with the fatigue are the only consistent side effects of radiation. Fatigue has been a constant companion since chemo started. Let's hope it doesn't get too bad.
Lymphedema therapy continues to be very helpful. I'm happy to be into a compression sleeve during the day. It is much more comfortable plus I can wear most of my clothes over it. When I had the bandages I was very limited on what I could get over the arm + bandages.
That's about it for now.
Monday, March 14, 2011
A GOOD DAY......Lymphedema victory #1 plus lunch with good friends
Now this is a good day......... Our long time friends Bill and LaVerne came by with lunch and we had a great visit with them and with their daughter and our God Daughter Vicki. What fun!! When we get together sometimes it feels like we are all back in the 1970's....except the kids are now adults and there are these GRAND children! It is always great to catch up with each other.
I graduated from lymphedema wrap today! I started therapy with mega fluid in my left arm. I went to the Physical Therapy clinic 3x/wk to have the arm wrapped in ace bandages to move the fluid up the arm and out the trunk. Slowly the fluid has drained and my left arm is almost the same size as my right arm. YEAH!!! So now I can switch to a compression bandage for the daytime and at night I may be able to have NOTHING on my arm. What a relief!! I've made a reservation to attend a seminar on lymphedema so hopefully I can learn to manage this condition to the max.
The Dallas Quilt Show was this past weekend and I did make it down there. However that was about all I can say about my adventure. I was SO TIRED from just a little walking about that I spent most of my time setting here and there. Afterwards I figured out that part of the problem is my blood pressure medicine which is now a tad too strong. It worked fine pre chemo, but now I need a different dose. What I did get to see was the auction of some fantastic miniature quilts. I've seen some of my sister-in-laws miniature quilts and each one is perfection and beautiful. I had not seen dozens of art minis that are so great...and I can do this too. Now I'm motivated to take on an art mini project. That was worth the trip to the Quilt Show.
My chemo recovery plan is focusing on increasing stamina by doing a little more activity each day. It is so hard to walk any distance but I have to do more walking until it is easy. I can do some cooking and laundry. And driving is okay. As soon as I can get a compression sleeve I will be able to sew again. So life is getting better each day.
I graduated from lymphedema wrap today! I started therapy with mega fluid in my left arm. I went to the Physical Therapy clinic 3x/wk to have the arm wrapped in ace bandages to move the fluid up the arm and out the trunk. Slowly the fluid has drained and my left arm is almost the same size as my right arm. YEAH!!! So now I can switch to a compression bandage for the daytime and at night I may be able to have NOTHING on my arm. What a relief!! I've made a reservation to attend a seminar on lymphedema so hopefully I can learn to manage this condition to the max.
The Dallas Quilt Show was this past weekend and I did make it down there. However that was about all I can say about my adventure. I was SO TIRED from just a little walking about that I spent most of my time setting here and there. Afterwards I figured out that part of the problem is my blood pressure medicine which is now a tad too strong. It worked fine pre chemo, but now I need a different dose. What I did get to see was the auction of some fantastic miniature quilts. I've seen some of my sister-in-laws miniature quilts and each one is perfection and beautiful. I had not seen dozens of art minis that are so great...and I can do this too. Now I'm motivated to take on an art mini project. That was worth the trip to the Quilt Show.
My chemo recovery plan is focusing on increasing stamina by doing a little more activity each day. It is so hard to walk any distance but I have to do more walking until it is easy. I can do some cooking and laundry. And driving is okay. As soon as I can get a compression sleeve I will be able to sew again. So life is getting better each day.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Finally.......some real progress!!!
It could be that I am on the mend!!! Very slowly I am getting some energy back and it feels so good!!! I can drive myself to the hospital and even self park and walk across to the clinic. Two weeks ago I was maxed out at stumbling from the valet drop off, through the door and into the clinic.
On the home front, I am cooking again. It still takes some planning on my part to break up the preparation tasks with some rest breaks, however it is getting easier each day. I've lost some of my organization practices so end up with excessive dirty dishes in the sink after I get done. I like to load the dishwasher as I go but seem to be having trouble making that happen after so many weeks of being away from my kitchen. The good news is that I can still cook!!
The lymphedema is slowly resolving. I go to the Physical Therapy clinic 3x/wk to have the bandages changed and get a specific lymph drainage massage. The goal is to encourage the lymphetic fluid to move from the lower arm upward to the arm pit area and then to the trunk area to eventually be flushed out by the kidneys. I really want to get past this bandage wrap because 3 ace bandages plus the padding makes for a bulky deal covering my arm from fingers to arm pit. On the hand it is hard to keep the bandage clean and the bulk makes sewing almost impossible. At night I sleep with the arm elevated on several pillows so the fluid drains downward. This also keeps any throbbing down to a minimum. Hopefully by next week I can graduate to a compression sleeve which isn't nearly so bulky and has finger gloves rather than the ace bandage wrapped around the palm.
Radiation hasn't started yet, thank goodness. I'm enjoying making steady progress and feeling better each day. I'm not wanting to rock the boat at this point. I just want to keep enjoying feeling better today than I did yesterday and having hope that tomorrow will be even better.
On the home front, I am cooking again. It still takes some planning on my part to break up the preparation tasks with some rest breaks, however it is getting easier each day. I've lost some of my organization practices so end up with excessive dirty dishes in the sink after I get done. I like to load the dishwasher as I go but seem to be having trouble making that happen after so many weeks of being away from my kitchen. The good news is that I can still cook!!
The lymphedema is slowly resolving. I go to the Physical Therapy clinic 3x/wk to have the bandages changed and get a specific lymph drainage massage. The goal is to encourage the lymphetic fluid to move from the lower arm upward to the arm pit area and then to the trunk area to eventually be flushed out by the kidneys. I really want to get past this bandage wrap because 3 ace bandages plus the padding makes for a bulky deal covering my arm from fingers to arm pit. On the hand it is hard to keep the bandage clean and the bulk makes sewing almost impossible. At night I sleep with the arm elevated on several pillows so the fluid drains downward. This also keeps any throbbing down to a minimum. Hopefully by next week I can graduate to a compression sleeve which isn't nearly so bulky and has finger gloves rather than the ace bandage wrapped around the palm.
Radiation hasn't started yet, thank goodness. I'm enjoying making steady progress and feeling better each day. I'm not wanting to rock the boat at this point. I just want to keep enjoying feeling better today than I did yesterday and having hope that tomorrow will be even better.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Reward available to person who finds my right eyebrow!!
I had two eyebrows when this week started. I know I did. Today I have one eyebrow. At least it is my right eyebrow that has wandered off. My left eyeball is the one that is bright red from the broken blood vessels from excessive barfing. It would be sad to have all the grim chemo reminders socked on one eye.
So today I was going out for lunch and shopping with my friend Joan. We had 20% off coupons at the Coach Outlet store so that is cause for fun! Since I was getting ready to be in "public" verses just hanging out at home with Domino I needed to plan for a hat and big earrings at least. Makeup is recommended since this is North Texas. So when I turned on the makeup mirror to check the current condition of my left eye I discovered the ABSENCE of my right eyebrow leaving behind only a few stray grey hairs in no particular order. This only adds a character accent to my 14 remaining clumpy eyelashes.
It doesn't seem fair that the right eyebrow waited until after chemo 6 to leave. I have just declared this time to be the beginning of recovery. So I want the eyebrow back .... NOW. Had I known that it was planning to vanish in the night I would have drawn in a line to mark the spot when it belongs. Today I just had to guess where to start and end the drawing with marginal results.
If you find my right eyebrow please bring it to me and collect the reward.
So today I was going out for lunch and shopping with my friend Joan. We had 20% off coupons at the Coach Outlet store so that is cause for fun! Since I was getting ready to be in "public" verses just hanging out at home with Domino I needed to plan for a hat and big earrings at least. Makeup is recommended since this is North Texas. So when I turned on the makeup mirror to check the current condition of my left eye I discovered the ABSENCE of my right eyebrow leaving behind only a few stray grey hairs in no particular order. This only adds a character accent to my 14 remaining clumpy eyelashes.
It doesn't seem fair that the right eyebrow waited until after chemo 6 to leave. I have just declared this time to be the beginning of recovery. So I want the eyebrow back .... NOW. Had I known that it was planning to vanish in the night I would have drawn in a line to mark the spot when it belongs. Today I just had to guess where to start and end the drawing with marginal results.
If you find my right eyebrow please bring it to me and collect the reward.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Chemo 6 is on the wane!!
Finally there is a bit of sunshine in my day!! Yesterday I slept almost the entire day and each nap was better than the last one. Now that is a good day! Today I haven't been sick all day and actually went to 3 doctor appointments without falling over. So I'm calling this 2 good days in a row and declaring this the beginning of recovery from chemo 6 infusion.
I met with the oncologist today and got a good report. My blood values are excellent and I survived the most potent chemo protocol allowed for grade 3 breast cancer. So now it is on to the radiation protocol and then I can know that I've done the best treatment available at this time.
The lymphedema is going down in size with the wraps and massages but I'm not ready for the sleeve yet. The wraps will work better and faster so I'll just deal with it for the next couple of weeks.
Radiation treatment is in the same suite as the oncology clinic so I finished up my appointment day there. This was the first scan marking meeting so the radiologist and technicians defined the radiation parameters and marked the stop spots on my body. At the next appointment they will test for exact placements and set the machine for all the future radiations. Man, it was COLD in there and that was even before I stretched out on the metal platform. Thank goodness my appointments will take only 10 minutes. Any longer and I'd be a Popsicle!!
So now I'm feeling good enough to begin focusing on building back some strength. This time I can know that I'm not just trying to get well enough to be hit by the chemo freight train again. The beginning starts tomorrow.
I met with the oncologist today and got a good report. My blood values are excellent and I survived the most potent chemo protocol allowed for grade 3 breast cancer. So now it is on to the radiation protocol and then I can know that I've done the best treatment available at this time.
The lymphedema is going down in size with the wraps and massages but I'm not ready for the sleeve yet. The wraps will work better and faster so I'll just deal with it for the next couple of weeks.
Radiation treatment is in the same suite as the oncology clinic so I finished up my appointment day there. This was the first scan marking meeting so the radiologist and technicians defined the radiation parameters and marked the stop spots on my body. At the next appointment they will test for exact placements and set the machine for all the future radiations. Man, it was COLD in there and that was even before I stretched out on the metal platform. Thank goodness my appointments will take only 10 minutes. Any longer and I'd be a Popsicle!!
So now I'm feeling good enough to begin focusing on building back some strength. This time I can know that I'm not just trying to get well enough to be hit by the chemo freight train again. The beginning starts tomorrow.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Chemo 6 is still raging - new problem
Chemo 6 has been horrible in terms of barfing and dry heaves, constipation, nausea to the max. And I keep hoping that each morning will be the dawning of a new and healthy day. NOT YET. This morning I woke up with my left eye more than just blood shot - there was something really wrong. So it was off to the Eye Hospital ER to see what happened and what to do. All the dry heaves and barfing caused some blood vessels to burst. There is no repair needed as the blood will dissolve "in time" as in maybe 3 weeks. Meanwhile I look like I lost a fight. The eye will go through all the colors of a bruise as it resolves. Cute, huh?
Meanwhile, the maximum nausea meds are kicking in, or maybe the nausea is resolving itself....whatever, no barfing today.
Domino and I got good news today. A friend who lives just a few blocks away has adopted a standard poodle! We will get the dogs together when Boo is more adjusted. We will have a dog park buddy for Domino and another party animal in the neighborhood.
I am overwhelmed on side effects for chemo. I've had it. I decided to go to the xanex and zone out while I wait for a few good days IN A ROW.
Meanwhile, the maximum nausea meds are kicking in, or maybe the nausea is resolving itself....whatever, no barfing today.
Domino and I got good news today. A friend who lives just a few blocks away has adopted a standard poodle! We will get the dogs together when Boo is more adjusted. We will have a dog park buddy for Domino and another party animal in the neighborhood.
I am overwhelmed on side effects for chemo. I've had it. I decided to go to the xanex and zone out while I wait for a few good days IN A ROW.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
When does recovery start???
Today is exactly a week post chemo 6 so I expected to wake up feeling GOOD........I remember feeling good. I took it for granted. At this point feeling good would be a dream come true. With chemo 6 the drug effects have been fierce. I haven't been able to stop the nausea and GERD all week. The constipation has resolved, finally. Even after a long day in the infusion clinic getting fluids and drugs, I'm still sick. The lymphedema continues to cause pain and discomfort. The therapists re-wrap the arm 3x/wk and the swelling is down significantly, but not enough to switch to a sleeve yet.
So what do I do from this point? Well, just keep on keeping on, I guess. Somehow I have to wait it out to get to the good days. Maybe it is going to take a little longer to get there this cycle. I have to keep drinking liters of fluids to disperse the drugs as well as keep the GERD from scalding my throat. Sleeping with my arm higher than my shoulder is a challenge; however it is getting easier. Since I'm awake several times per night to go to the bathroom, I notice where the arm is when I wake up and can reposition it when I get back in bed. The past 2 nights I have gotten a fairly good night's sleep. This helps so much.
Life in the slow lane is getting a bit dull for Domino as well. We need to get back on the dog training schedule and the therapy visit schedule. In theory I will have some immunity back in a couple more weeks. So we will start back very slowly as I try to build some stamina. Even if I felt good today I would not be able to do an hour of dog school or therapy visits. I'm just more than ready to have the OPTION of getting back on a busy dog schedule.
So what do I do from this point? Well, just keep on keeping on, I guess. Somehow I have to wait it out to get to the good days. Maybe it is going to take a little longer to get there this cycle. I have to keep drinking liters of fluids to disperse the drugs as well as keep the GERD from scalding my throat. Sleeping with my arm higher than my shoulder is a challenge; however it is getting easier. Since I'm awake several times per night to go to the bathroom, I notice where the arm is when I wake up and can reposition it when I get back in bed. The past 2 nights I have gotten a fairly good night's sleep. This helps so much.
Life in the slow lane is getting a bit dull for Domino as well. We need to get back on the dog training schedule and the therapy visit schedule. In theory I will have some immunity back in a couple more weeks. So we will start back very slowly as I try to build some stamina. Even if I felt good today I would not be able to do an hour of dog school or therapy visits. I'm just more than ready to have the OPTION of getting back on a busy dog schedule.
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